Medical Bills / MMORPGs

I stayed at Mountain Crest, a mental health facility from 9/30/2013-10/03/2013 as I was suicidal and had completely lost my capacity function in the "normal" world.

I have been putting off my medical bill that I have been receiving for the past few months. I finally got my last "warning" bill in the mail yesterday.

It took all the strength I had to call them today and set up payment plans, as the thought of my bill being sent to a collection agency did not appeal to me. Thankfully I found money in my HSA account and was able to use some of our tax return money to lower how much I owed. Sadly they would not take that as a paid in full amount. Although I asked for it and indicated I was on disability. The good news is that I only have to make a rather small payment of $50 for 8.5 months. I sure hope we can swing it.

I still have not heard from my employer nor from long-term disability. I am frightened beyond belief to call about my long-term disability. And I question if I should or not. Technically they have 30 some odd days to get back to me with an answer, although I was lead to believe that I should receive an answer before that time. My partner tried to lift my spirits by indicating that not hearing so soon may mean they are "dragging" their feet as to when they will start paying my long-term disability. In the mean time I worry about getting all of our bills paid on time. Especially our mortgage payment.

"All good things come to those who wait." But at the same time, if I take no action, will nothing good come from it? On top of my bipolar II I also suffer from severe anxiety. The phone call I made today was a huge thing for me. It was something I knew I could not ask my partner to do, although I severely wanted him to.

To help with my sanity, which at times I feel slipping away, I have "adjusted" my meds to take my anti-anxiety pill once in the morning and once again at noon. So now I have alarms for 9am, Noon, 3pm, and 9pm. Again, my life is subscribed of when I take my pills. But I feel that my taking my anti-anxiety pill once at 9am and again at Noon will help keep the edge off and possibly keep me from having a severe panic attack.

I cannot separate good days from bad days (although sometimes that does happen) but rather by good moments and bad moments. Getting out of bed is a huge struggle, and if not for the animals we have, it is quite possible that I wouldn't not get out of bed.

I am playing an MMORPG that is very new to me, Lord of the Rings. I am enjoying it. As I know the "trilogy" as well as The Hobbit, so I find connections with the quests I do and the things I see. Thus far I've noticed that this is the plight of the dwarfs during the same time that Frodo is seeking to destroy the ring, as in the trilogy it was hinted at the dwarfs having their own battles to fight. It keeps my mind occupied as to what will happen next. I am just now leaving the starting area, as I'm taking it a few quests at a time. One thing I have learned from previous MMORPGs is that the longer you linger in the starting area and the higher your level when you leave, the easier life will be outside of the starting area. I am also pleased to say that I do not play for hours on end, but quite possibly 30 minutes here and 30 minutes there.

I chose a race that is very new to me, and quite different from a dwarf on World of Warcraft, and a class I am not familiar with, Hunter. I still question if, as a Hunter, I get a pet, as one does in WoW, time shall tell.

Once SPARX is out of Beta testing I will also start playing that, as I believe it will also help give me coping skills to deal with my depression and anxiety. At this time once cannot create and save a character, thus each time you enter the game you start all over. This might work for some, but again, I do not want to spend too much of my time sitting in front of my computer playing a game I cannot save.