An Anxious Trip Out of the House

So I've had this Sees Candy gift card in my wallet since last May. (I know, I know.) I've been too anxious to drive one town over to get something. Well, I thought the day after Easter would be a smashing idea. Good chocolate at a discounted price.

I started to chicken out.

I went to their website, hoping to find discounted items, no such luck, and the one item I did find would have required an additional $8 shipping and handling! (No thank you!)

So after much inner struggle with myself, I managed to find myself sitting in my car and slowly driving towards the shop. Oh, and did I mention it's the same route, for most of the way, to my old job? Talk about anxiety city.

I failed to take my anti-anxiety pill before I left. (I'm still recovering from the anxiety of this trip.) But somehow I made it. And I didn't even buy anything on discount. ;)

I was almost in tears all the way home. It's tough having social anxiety. (Having anxiety period.) I should feel proud of myself, getting dressed, getting in the car, making that drive outside my comfort zone (and so close to my old employer), then to walk into a rather small store and feel very out of place walking in circles trying to determine if I buy the chocolate bunny (uncertain if it's hollow or not), or find something else. I finally picked the above, and only spent a little over a dollar for it. 

I did good. I did good. I feel anxious as hell. I feel this huge knot building in my chest. I shouldn't feel this way. I should feel at least happy that I have chocolate in the house, but I don't. I'm in tears. But, as Bilbo put it, I made it "there and back again".