Music

Music is a large part of my life. It always has been, even when I was a little girl. I loved to sing at church and I loved singing along to the radio, the latest album my parents bought. Every Christmas my mom's mother would send me a soundtrack to some movie I'd fallen in love with that year.

Last night Skin by Madonna came on randomly and it felt like something I needed to hear.

Do I know you from somewhere
Why do you leave me wanting more
Why do all the things I say
Sound like the stupid things I've said before
Put your hand on my skin
Kiss me, I'm dying
Put your hand on my skin I
close my eyes
I need to make a connection I
'm walking on a thin line
I close my eyes
I close my eyes
Do I know you from somewhere
Why do you leave me wanting more
Why do all the things I say
Sound like the stupid things I've said before
(Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss me)
Touch me, I'm trying
To see inside of your soul I've got this thing
I want to make a connection
I'm not like this all the time
You've got this thing
You've got this thing
Do I know you from somewhere
Why do you leave me wanting more
Why do all the things I say
Sound like the stupid things I've said before
Kiss me, I'm dying
Put your hand on my skin
I close my eyes
I need to have your protection
I close my eyes
I close your eyes
(Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss me)
Do I know you from somewhere
Why do you leave me wanting more
Why do all the things I say
Sound like the stupid things I've said before
Do I know you from somewhere
Why do you leave me wanting more
Why do all the things I say
Sound like the stupid things I've said before
Kiss me, I'm dying
Touch me, I'm trying, ohhhh
I'm not like this all the time
I'm not like this all the time
Put your hand on my skin
Touch me, I'm trying, ohhhh
Put your hand on my skin
Put your hand on my skin
I'm not like this all the time
(kiss, kiss,...)
I'm not like this all the time
(kiss, kiss,...)
I'm not like this all the time
(kiss, kiss, kiss me...)
Put your hand on my skin
Put your hand on my skin

It has been difficult getting affection as my partner isn't certain what will/won't set me off and my mood swings are so irregular it makes intimacy difficult at times. Really, I want to be loved. I have to remind myself that I am loved and then I have to make myself believe it. And I have to work really hard at acknowledging my partner's efforts and not kill them where they stand.