Let's not talk about what's real! Let's not talk about the taboo. Let's pretend that it's all in my head so that no one else has to worry about it. Let's ignore it and maybe, just maybe it will go away.
New flash! It's here. It's real. And I can't make it go away. I can't ignore it until it goes away. That's not how it works.
I've held it in for years. Believing I'd got it all under control. What happened?
It exploded out of left field, it hit me and knocked the wind out of me knocking me down, like I'd been punched for unknown reasons.
I can barely stand. Punch after punch. It won't stop. Over and over and over again. One hit, two hits, three. I can't believe I'm doing this to myself. And I can't make it stop.
And no one wants to talk about it. Everyone wants to believe it's not there. It is not their problem so what does it matter to them?
If I had a life threatening disease you'd care. The truth is, I do. I struggle with myself to stay alive each and every fucking day.
Some days are with it more than others.
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